The Voluntary Reincarnation

Disorganized as she was, this flaw bit her even harder than before when she was out in the scorching sun, house hunting. It was day 5 of the currently unsuccessful lookout for a decent place to live in. She checked into the hotel & gazing at the grand sized piano sitting in the ballroom, she thought to herself, “Stick to the budget next time.”

Ishita Shetty dreamed of travelling the World, just like all 20 year olds do. She realized being a travel anchor was all she wanted when watching Fox Life gave her fulfillment like nothing else did. The day she came across a quote which said “You make your own destiny”; she decided to pack her bags & move out of the comfort of home. Only, it wasn’t as easy as that. Ishita’s mother had no objections with the decision since she had watched her daughter cringe over the modest money she made by being a social worker. On Ishita’s departure, she handed her an envelope of her meagre savings & wished her luck.

The issue with being young & immature is that you never foresee the future. Ishita believed in living in the moment & there was nothing wrong with that ideology, except, it did not apply everywhere. By choosing to stay at a 3 star hotel & watching her pocket money dwindle every hour, at this point, she knew she had made a mistake. That apart, she was going off track her only motto. After having sent her show-reel to 8 show producers in Mumbai, she had hoped to hear back from at least one of them. It had been 2 months & there had been no call.

Dawn broke but Ishita was still occupied in her thoughts she lost her night’s sleep over. A call from her broker ruined her train of thought.

“Hello? Madam! 11am today there is an open house at Goregaon West. Are you free?”

“Uh, yes. I’ll be there. Send the location on Whats App.”

Punctuality was not a trait Ishita possessed but right now, she was highly desperate to find a cheaper place to crash at. She reached the bungalow by 10 am, much earlier than the stipulated 11 am. A flat would be more apt, she thought. But the rustic architecture appealed to her & she decided to wait for the broker to strike a feasible deal with him.

The broker did arrive but with an addition of a tall, dark & handsome man. A second glance for confirmation of the attractiveness of the man was mandatory after which Ishita decided to focus only on bargaining over the house since putting up in the hotel was not a practical option anymore. A 2BHK independent house set in an amicable neighborhood seemed to impress not only Ishita but also the man she had gazed at more than she expected to.

“The rent would be 30,000 pm. Since there are two interested buyers, the owner is willing to give it to the one bidding higher.” said the broker.

 “30,000?!” her starting salary would probably be even lesser, she thought. The broker sensed the rejection of the offer from the woman so turning towards the man he asked, “Sahil?”

“I need some time to think over this. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

As Ishita walked out the door with disappointment written all over her face, Sahil bent over her shoulder & whispered, “Let’s split.”

Perplexed, she asked, “YOU can’t afford 30,000 pm?”

“No.”

“I can bring it down to 15,000 then.” said Ishita which sealed the deal.

--

Falling in love was meant to happen since the spark had lit on day 1 itself. Ishita & Sahil had started dating after a few weeks of moving in. It had been over 6 months now & they had become comfortable with each other faster than they realized. One evening as they were lying down on the couch, their fingers intertwined, they spoke about things that most mattered to them.

I: I want to visit every corner of the globe, Sahil. Do you think a lifetime is enough for it?

S: I don’t know, Ish. Sometimes you don’t need a lifetime to live lifetime large.

I: I guess. But do you think your IT job will ever give you a lifetime large feeling?

S: Well, for me it’s the smallest of things; putting a smile on someone’s face, being healthy over wealthy & being in love. It’s a check on all of those as of now.

I: A bouquet of flowers would put a smile on my face!

S: Oh honey! I’m going to grow us a garden. Then you can have all the flowers you want.

I: What is the point of building a garden when I’m never going to be around to relish it?

S: Would I be able to lure you into staying if I put a ring on it?

Going down on one knee, Sahil took a blue Tiffany box out of his pocket. Ishita was astonished. A marriage proposal from Sahil seemed completely out of the blue especially since they had never discussed it before. As he waited patiently for a high decibel confirmation from her, she said

“I need some time to figure out if I feel the same way about this. I can say yes right now, just like you want me to; but I want neither of us to regret the haste. I do love you, Sahil. But please, I’m only asking for some more time.”

He arose from his knelt position, closing the box he nodded his head & walked away into the bedroom. That night they slept quietly, without any exchange of speech or hugs.

--

Stretching out her arms next morning, Ishita walked outside to the porch in search of Sahil. She saw him amidst some gardening tools toiling with the soil.

“What are you doing?”

“Five year plan.” he smiled.

“Could you be more specific?”

“We are going to plant this mango tree together & in 5 years’ time if we’re both sitting on that porch eating ripe mangoes, then dreams do come true.”

Ishita knew love like this was hard to find; to be with a man who is perfect in the eye of society & be treated so immensely well by him. She stepped onto the garden he had promised her & held his hands while he sowed the seeds.

“Yes!” she said softly.

“What?”

“I will marry you.”

The childlike smile on Sahil’s face assured Ishita that she had indeed met her Mr. Right.

--

3 years down, Ishita & Sahil’s wedding anniversary was only 20 days away. They had both saved up enough finance by now to buy the home that united them. Ishita had landed a job at Fox Life as she always wanted but limited her circle of travel only within Asia so she could spend more time with Sahil. The plan was to combine their anniversary party with the house warming.

I: Had we taken a loan we would be doing this much earlier.

S: You know how I feel about loans. It’s not your money yet so don’t spend it like it is.

I: Yeah, yeah. So the house will be registered on your name only after all. I have been able to get a day off only on the anniversary. I’m so sorry I won’t be around to help.

S: I can finally say, Get out of MY house when you piss me off in that case.

I: You totally can, Milord.

Ishita was doing her last-minute packing for the 16 day work-cation (since her work was no less than a vacation). Sahil leaned against the door & watched her.

I: Stop staring, you creep.

S: Do you ever miss me on these trips?

I: Of course I do! Why, you doubt it?

S: You know it surprises me how you can be so adept at handling yourself so well otherwise but when it comes to money or even signing legal documents you behave like a complete chicken.

I: When I’ve got you for all of that, why do I need to worry?

S: What if I’m not there one day “for all of that”?

I: Oh I dare you to leave your smoking hot wife in solitary to do all the mathematics!

Sahil chuckled over his wife’s innate sense of humor as he got into the car to drop off Ishita to the airport. It was 9:40 pm & the street lights were not all working fine due to which Sahil was constantly squinting whilst driving.

“Where are your glasses, Sahil?” questioned Ishita.

“I forgot them.”

“Oh God!”

They reached the airport precisely on time & hugged like there’s no tomorrow as she departed.

“Fly safe, come back soon & I love you the most.” said a teary-eyed Sahil.

“I love you too. Do the arrangements well for the house warming.”

“I will.”

As she stood in the queue for the security check, she felt her phone vibrate. The call was from Sahil.

“Missing me already?” she said as she answered the phone.

Ishita stood frozen, jolted from what she had heard from the other end. Regaining her senses, she sprinted from where she stood to the gates of the Arrivals.

Sahil had met with an accident with a goods truck on the way back home. He lost his life on the spot but was still rushed to the hospital in case there was a slim chance of survival. That chance resulted in null when the doctors proclaimed the final verdict. All along the way to the hospital & in there, Ishita’s mind was numb. The very fact that her husband was no more had still not sunken in.

It was the first thought that came to her as she woke up. He was gone. And, soon, this bedroom, the house in whose eastern corner it sat, and the tiny garden outside with its gnarled old red hibiscus & the half-grown mango tree they had planted together, all those would be gone as well. It was the strangest feeling ever.

What if she would’ve asked him to drive back safe just like he had wished for her? What if she would’ve asked him to take a cab on the way back since he couldn’t see the roads clearly without his glasses? What if she herself would’ve taken a cab to go to the airport? What if they hadn’t joked about him not being around? What if she had decided to not even go in the first place?

Ishita had cracked. The tears she had been holding up for over 12 hours let lose a stream now. She cried loudly & miserably. Ishita’s mother ran over to her bedroom on hearing her sob.

“Oh Ishi! I know, I know. Don’t put this on yourself, my child. There is nothing you could or couldn’t have done to keep what has happened from happening. Maybe his time in your life was only meant to be so much & what a wonderful time it has been. It is like this with any kind of loss, honey. When your dad & I got divorced, he chose to leave me. Sahil didn’t want that. He wanted to provide you with all the things life has for you to experience. They don’t all have to necessarily be nice. There were chores you couldn’t do yourself, so learn them now. You can mourn over him for months & years, but would he like for you to be so dismal? Give him what he always wanted, a cheerful & independent Ishita.”

We tend to equate loss with failure & quite precisely it is that. Just like we learn from a failure, we need to learn how to get over a loss, be it death or a break-up. This does not mean that we have to forget the very existence of the concerned person. All we need to do is embrace the memories we had with them & live with a little bit of them in ourselves. For every being is unique & has a quality we like in them which we can adapt, keeping them alive in our own way.

- Shraavya